I was expecting a light hearted chuckle or maybe for him to reveal a few other "entitlements" for men after marriage but his response, which i'm convinced he said in passing without much thought, had a lasting and profound impact on my life. He said:
"Neal, remember that in marriage you are not 'entitled' to anything..."
As i've pondered that passing comment and the influence it has had on me in the hundreds of decisions i've made over the past 8 years i can't help but think: "How often do i neglect the fact that what i say, whisper, or even post in cyberspace could have simliarly profound consequences?"
As i've contemplated that question it has affected the way i treat "insignificant conversation" and helped me hold my tongue in situations where i may have said something with a profoundly negative impact. Afterall, what is life but a long string of little moments all sewn together?
Other nuggets of wisdom i've attained include my cousin telling me: "Be responsible for your actions, real men always are..." on our way to the movies. One of my church leaders telling me: "When you are presented with a job or task, you can either waste time looking for a way out of it, or simply work hard and get it done..." as i helped him do some yard work. And even my mother when she simply whispered the word: "Patience..." in response to my inquiry about good parenting.
I have accumulated hundreds of gems likes these and i would venture to say that most of them were never intended to be profound life lessons. But they were.
The next time we are making small talk, giving advice on the fly, or making a passing comment, let's remember to always take care when speaking for what we say could change the world.
