Friday, March 22, 2013

Passing Comments Matter

There i was helping the Florence family move into their new house in 2005, and as the day grew long i found myself alone with McKay Florence heaving some of the last boxes of his personal stuff from the room. I discovered in one of the last boxes a few colorful and entertaining shirts, and upon discovering them i said: "I guess every man is entitled to a few of these after they get married right?" 



I was expecting a light hearted chuckle or maybe for him to reveal a few other "entitlements" for men after marriage but his response, which i'm convinced he said in passing without much thought, had a lasting and profound impact on my life. He said:

"Neal, remember that in marriage you are not 'entitled' to anything..."

As i've pondered that passing comment and the influence it has had on me in the hundreds of decisions i've made over the past 8 years i can't help but think: "How often do i neglect the fact that what i say, whisper, or even post in cyberspace could have simliarly profound consequences?"

As i've contemplated that question it has affected the way i treat "insignificant conversation" and helped me hold my tongue in situations where i may have said something with a profoundly negative impact. Afterall, what is life but a long string of little moments all sewn together?

Other nuggets of wisdom i've attained include my cousin telling me: "Be responsible for your actions, real men always are..." on our way to the movies. One of my church leaders telling me: "When you are presented with a job or task, you can either waste time looking for a way out of it, or simply work hard and get it done..." as i helped him do some yard work. And even my mother when she simply whispered the word: "Patience..." in response to my inquiry about good parenting.

I have accumulated hundreds of gems likes these and i would venture to say that most of them were never intended to be profound life lessons. But they were.

The next time we are making small talk, giving advice on the fly, or making a passing comment, let's remember to always take care when speaking for what we say could change the world.


Monday, February 4, 2013

An unlikely lesson...

After excitedly waiting all day to see what my fortune cookie was from lunch, the hour finally arrived! i got to eat the cookie! i excitedly opened the little wrapper and broke the cookie open but quickly laid aside the fortune without reading it (you have to save that part for last or the fortune won't come true right?!?)

As I intensely finished the cookie anticipating the enlightening revelation i was surely about to partake of, i stared at the back of the fortune for a few minutes. i thought to myself: "Why am i so excited to read the fortune anyway? Is the message really so profound? Is it really going to teach me something i don't already know?i know it sounds crazy but i think I realized something very important as i pondered my excitement over the cookie, i learned that i shouldn't rely so much on what others do or say to motivate me or help me feel good about myself. After a few minutes i did something i never thought i would do...i threw away the fortune without reading it!

i decided that i want to have a better self image and relationship with myself, I want to feel that i am capable of chasing my dreams and accomplishing anything i want without needing a cheap fortune cookie to convince me of it.


"Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy."  

                                                                                                         ~Norman Vincent Peale


You may think that i am overreacting to the situation, but the lesson was profound, and it's not that I will never eat or read another fortune cookie (i love Chinese food!) but I have a renewed sense of self confidence and it's importance to me in my success.

We always need to seek counsel and help from others (we could never weather this path alone) but we must never underestimate the power of confidence and faith in ourselves. So get out there and be the amazing person that deep down you know you are (even though you may not always believe it!)




how many capitalized i's are there in this blog??? comment if you think you know!