Passing Comments Matter

There i was helping the Florence family move into their new house in 2005, and as the day grew long i found myself alone with McKay Florence heaving some of the last boxes of his personal stuff from the room. I discovered in one of the last boxes a few colorful and entertaining shirts, and upon discovering them i said: "I guess every man is entitled to a few of these after they get married right?" 

I was expecting a light hearted chuckle or maybe for him to reveal a few other "entitlements" for men after marriage but his response, which i'm convinced he said in passing without much thought, had a lasting and profound impact on my life. He said:

"Neal, remember that in marriage you are not 'entitled' to anything..."

As i've pondered that passing comment and the influence it has had on me in the hundreds of decisions i've made over the past 8 years i can't help but think: "How often do i neglect the fact that what i say, whisper, or even post in cyberspace could have simliarly profound consequences?"

As i've contemplated that question it has affected the way i treat "insignificant conversation" and helped me hold my tongue in situations where i may have said something with a profoundly negative impact. Afterall, what is life but a long string of little moments all sewn together?

Other nuggets of wisdom i've attained include my cousin telling me: "Be responsible for your actions, real men always are..." on our way to the movies. One of my church leaders telling me: "When you are presented with a job or task, you can either waste time looking for a way out of it, or simply work hard and get it done..." as i helped him do some yard work. And even my mother when she simply whispered the word: "Patience..." in response to my inquiry about good parenting.

I have accumulated hundreds of gems likes these and i would venture to say that most of them were never intended to be profound life lessons. But they were.

The next time we are making small talk, giving advice on the fly, or making a passing comment, let's remember to always take care when speaking for what we say could change the world.

An unlikely lesson...

After excitedly waiting all day to see what my fortune cookie was from lunch, the hour finally arrived! i got to eat the cookie! i excitedly opened the little wrapper and broke the cookie open but quickly laid aside the fortune without reading it (you have to save that part for last or the fortune won't come true right?!?)

As I intensely finished the cookie anticipating the enlightening revelation i was surely about to partake of, i stared at the back of the fortune for a few minutes. i thought to myself: "Why am i so excited to read the fortune anyway? Is the message really so profound? Is it really going to teach me something i don't already know?" i know it sounds crazy but i think I realized something very important as i pondered my excitement over the cookie, i learned that i shouldn't rely so much on what others do or say to motivate me or help me feel good about myself. After a few minutes i did something i never thought i would do...i threw away the fortune without reading it!

i decided that i want to have a better self image and relationship with myself, I want to feel that i am capable of chasing my dreams and accomplishing anything i want without needing a cheap fortune cookie to convince me of it.


"Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy."  

                                                                                                         ~Norman Vincent Peale


You may think that i am overreacting to the situation, but the lesson was profound, and it's not that I will never eat or read another fortune cookie (i love Chinese food!) but I have a renewed sense of self confidence and it's importance to me in my success.

We always need to seek counsel and help from others (we could never weather this path alone) but we must never underestimate the power of confidence and faith in ourselves. So get out there and be the amazing person that deep down you know you are (even though you may not always believe it!)




how many capitalized i's are there in this blog??? comment if you think you know!

Letting go...

"What is red and bad for your teeth?"

...

A BRICK!!!

So i don't know what that has to do with "letting go", but if you find out please tell me.

Today i wanted to share a concept that i stumbled across that has helped me out immensely in my mortal journey and something that i find myself pondering quite a lot lately. It has to do with the connection between being 100% present in your day to day life and how letting go can help you more fully accomplish that. Here is a passage from the Ensign (LDS magazine) that helps illustrate the importance of living in each moment:

"...perhaps it would be well to remind ourselves that, no matter who we are, we pass through life but once, and whatever record we make is made forever. Time keeps marching on. We live our lives, of course, in the present—one moment at a time. But with each tick of the clock the present becomes the past, and the past cannot be changed. It is also true, however, that with each tick of the clock a part of the future becomes the present. Thus, the key to a successful and happy life is to strive diligently always to make the most of the present—to make the most of each moment as it arrives. If we can just practice the self-discipline necessary to do this, our past can become glorious to behold and our future will be assured."

 

(See William H. Bennett, “Inertia,” Ensign, May 1974, 33)

Here are at least two things that we can let go of to help us more fully live in the moment:

Let go of FEAR

Fear draws you into the future. There are many things that we often fear and many times we find ourselves worrying, dreading, and renting space out in our minds for things that have not even happened and that rarely have a chance of becoming reality. Whether it's fearing what could go wrong in a job interview, losing something that's special to us, or missing out on an important opportunity, ALL of these things drag us out of the precious moments that we could otherwise be living and put us in some scary, made up world.

Fear distracts, distorts, and prevents us from living abundantly. Let it go...

Let go of REGRET

Regret is living in the past . It is another dangerously common ailment in our lives that rarely deserves our attention. If we mess up and need to improve that's a great opportunity to learn! Think for just a moment about the visual of "beating yourself up". If we leave ourselves crippled and wounded after messing up we are doing ourselves a huge disservice. Instead, think of Rex-Kwon-Do: "Slap the wrist, walk away..." don't dwell on it! A mistake can be learned from, a missed opportunity is lost forever.

Regret haunts us, delays our progress, and pointlessly weighs on us. Let it go...

I have experienced the power of abundance through living each moment as fully as i am capable and hope that these two concepts might help others as much as they have helped me. Again, i think i learned more as i blogged about this than anyone else will but maybe you will find it helpful. Have a great day!



be 100% present!

Gratitude, the key to prosperity

Do you ever have those days when you wake up just bursting to the seams with gratitude for all that you have? Well i sure did...on the floor of my apartment!!! The picture you see to your right is one that captures a moment in which my attitude of gratitude was challenged. To take the high road, or the low, dwarfed, and naive one. But more on that in a second...

As I've reflected a lot on gratitude lately I've noticed that i am not always that grateful, and when i am i don't express that gratitude nearly as much as i ought to. Why is that? I have a few thoughts as to why that may be.

Is it because we are so busy and hustled that we don't stop to ponder and consider the things that we ought to be grateful for?

Are we really that entitled that we don't feel the need to stop and say thank you to your cousin who taught you the importance of "being a real man and being responsible for your actions" in a passing comment?

Whatever the reason, one thing for sure is that it makes a difference bigger than Mount Doom to the ones that you are expressing gratitude.

Just a few thoughts on expressing gratitude that i've had recently:

• If you don't do it (especially to others) it gets weird. But the more you do it, the easier it gets! It's like exercise...

• If you are grateful you are far more likely to be loved and blessed in the future. Think of giving someone a gift and how their response affects your likelihood of future gift giving. 

• It changes your perspective. You go from wanting to receive, to wanting to give back to those who have blessed you.

• We should always express gratitude, even for things that we are seemingly ungrateful for. As we do, we will begin to find the good in everything.

• Expressing gratitude makes our burdens lighter ("Count Your Blessings" LDS Hymn 241 - verse 2)

I hope that some of those are enlightening to you. They sure were to me as i typed them. The truth is there is not enough time, nor space on the server that hosts my blog, to adequately express gratitude for all that i have, but here are a few:

my faith, my family, my friends, my talents, the sunset, the unexpected text from an old friend, the variety of culture and people i'm exposed to here in Salt Lake City, LDS Business College, my life mentors, pineapple and it's sweet and unique flavor, music and it's healing power in times of need, harsh but loving counsel that guides you when you may not see things clearly, the smell of the wet ground right after the rain, the chance to do things that scare and stretch you every day, my health, the seaside, camping, good jokes, technology, my job, motivational quotes, patient teachers, good movies, beautiful people, jelly bellies, missionaries, long boards, swimming pools on hot days, great metaphors that teach principles simply and clearly, honorable examples, blenders, well fitting socks, breakfast visits with good people, deep conversations about life and people, water, sweet smelling flowers, and many many many other things


When was the last time that you said thank you to someone whose influence drastically changed the course of your life? When was the last time you took an extra 5 minutes to send a thank you email to someone who got you through a hard time? How often do you give thanks for the hardships and trials that help you grow and more fully reach your potential?

I hope that we can all give thanks and prosper. One more thing that i am grateful for is, not only the luxury bed that i was blessed to sleep on for just over 4 months, but for the past few nights that i've slept on the floor that have seemed to cure a sharp pain ive had in my back that I've had for years.

Be Grateful

"He's Back!"

Chances are you did not say: "He's back!" when you realized that i posted another blog entry, but in case you did I'll be sure to include a joke so that i don't disappoint you. This is a good one that i heard recently and have since told to many people:

Person A-"How do you get Pikachu onto an airplane?"
Person B (bald)-"I don't know...how?"
Person A-"You POKE-EM-ON!"

I know i know, hilarious right? Your abs will recover i promise.

So here i am blogging once again. I have learned and grown quite a lot since the last time i blogged and i have found a new desire to post my thoughts and ideas on this virtual and very public cyber journal. Again, this is not so much for you but for me and my own benefit (wow that sounds selfish) but i hope that you can benefit in some way. One thought that really inspired me to begin blogging again was the idea of Desire. I once learned a model about becoming that goes like this:

• Know 
• Do
• Be

The idea is that there are several steps (not always in THAT order i might add) that allow for us to grow. I have kept this model on my mind every since i learned it and it has served me well. But something that was troubling to me was that sometimes we are in a rush to get from knowing to doing and yet have little or no desire to do so. I know i need to exercise and eat right to maintain my physical health yet I will regularly down a greasy, love-deprived hamburger without a second thought. There are many things in our lives that we Know we need to do yet often the desire to Do them is absent. 

Well a little while ago i had the opportunity to attend Sunday school with a dear friend in Logan. I didn't realize that the lesson would drastically change my life and the way i viewed both Desire and Becoming. The teacher was assigned to discuss Conversion and put up on the whiteboard the following model:

• Know
• Feel
• Do

And it finally hit me...a big piece to the often troubling desire-puzzle is Feeling what you know to be true and allowing the principles to cultivate the motivation inside you that moves you to action. As i thought about it more i tried to dissect some of the reasons that this might be true. I came to the conclusion that Pondering concepts allows for them to sink deep into your heart and subconscious and nurture the desire to put them into practice. Yet again another reason why i see value in Journals and BLOGGING.

I look forward to Pondering, sharing, and capturing my thoughts here with you, unless of course there is no one following my blog, in such a case i am addressing myself :) hopefully my thoughts are intriguing and my poor habit of not capitalizing my i's did not infuriate you too badly, until we meet again!

-neal *"You're back!" He says to himself* hooper

Is anyone actually going to read this?

So here i am typing up a blog. something that everyone, but me, seems to be doing...so why not? If everyone else is doing it why shouldn't i succumb to this oddly popular trend of pouring out your soul onto a socially networked community? Why don't i just do what everyone else is doing? And for now all i have to say is, I will. I am always up for trying something new and exploring new horizons and even though the pride within me doesn't want to be associated with any stereo type or trend that isn't my own i will adventure forth and see what positive things can be had from this, if there are none i will simply end my blogging career and return to my perfectly happy blog-free environment that i come from.

Ok fine you're a blogger, but now the question arises...what am i supposed to blog about? Well i'm sure it's supposed to be something interesting that will engage my "followers" and keep them coming back for more. Witty jokes? Political theories that would arouse the emotion of all the democrats in the world? Something controversial or offensive? Interesting things it seems often consist of your inner desires and feelings and contemplations of the mysteries of the universe, but truth be told unless i am really comfortable with people viewing this blog, i don't want it to be a publicly displayed journal full of private and delicate parts of my life for anyone  and everyone to view.

If you are still reading this then it appears that i have done a good job at keeping your interest. Is it my unique perspective or opinion of blogs that has kept you intrigued? Is it the undeviating fact that every soul has something unique and special to contribute to the world and that through my blog i am exposing you to my completely original thought process which you somehow gel with? Sam Wal understood this concept well and valued the opinion of all his employees knowing that everyone of them understood or saw something that he couldn't and by harnessing these thoughts and ideas has created a global empire of shopping centers. That to me is very intriguing, but then again it may not be to anyone else. and again i can't help but ask myself: "Is anyone actually going to read this?" The truth is, i really doubt anyone will read this blog. My theory is that a blog is more for the blogger than the people following the blog itself. And while motor-typing my way through this, my very first blog, i feel that i have greatly benefited and that i have even learned some things about myself that will help me progress in my life. It's almost like a personal therapy session, and blogging is way cheaper than a shrink so maybe that's the benefit of doing this that i am just now discovering. I am excited to continue on this new blogging chapter of life and hope to gain all there is to be had from this unique resource and tool that is blogging.